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| Memory lane |
When I reflect on the stories shared about the deceased at these events, I have heard more about what the person who has died has done for others than what he or she had done for selfish motives. I am concerned that our lack of understanding of the “good death” may reduce our opportunity to experience giving deeply significant benefits to our family and friends in our final hours.
Facebook has brought two TED talks to my attention, in which the reality of our mortality has contributed to renewed commitment to live the “good life” by these speakers. “Embracing your expiry date” is a talk by Jeremie Saunders, an award-winning actor, producer, and host of popular Canadian media including the Sickboy Podcast, delivered at TEDxToronto.
“The Other Side of Ego” is presented by Jonathan Gravenor, television journalist who seemed to have everything, at TEDxOcala.
The New Catholic Encyclopedia deals with the “Ars Moriendi” (The Art of Dying) by referring to the “ars vivendi” (Art of Living) as an emphasis that reaches back to a Stoic maxim—given Christian meaning by the Fathers of the Church and special prominence by Renaissance humanists—which declares that no death is evil if it is preceded by a good life.
Peter Fenwick is an eminent neuropsychiatrist, academic and expert on disorders of the brain. His most compelling and provocative research has been into the end of life phenomena, including near-death experiences and deathbed visions of the dying person, as well as the experiences of hospice and palliative care workers and relatives of dying people.
At TEDxBrussels Peter Fenwick delivered a talk on The Art of Dying Well that identified some marvelous phenomena experienced by the dying person and shared with those in the room. The choice to die well and be in harmony with ancient wisdom about humility, surrender, and bringing blessings to those who accompany you to death is being forgotten.
The trumpeting of a “right” to take control and bypass the practice of the art of dying may leave the dying person and the community who support him or her poorer when deprived of being participants and witnesses in the good death.
